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[laserhawk]

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[petsthedog]

[God he is. Never going to live this down, ever.]

...I guess. S'just -- real embarrassing...

[laserhawk]

You really fixate on some pointless shit, you know that?

What matters more is you get healed up.

[petsthedog]

Yeah, yeah...I ain't fightin' you on it, am I?

[Just dying squirtle a little! Maybe if he closes his eyes it'll feel less weird than looking up at his face the whole way ??? he's giving it a shot anyway.]

[laserhawk]

You better not.

So what did you do?

[petsthedog]

[Ugh. He doesn't really want to talk about it, but bearing this whole walk in silence might actually be worse.]

Fucked up. What else?

[He told Laserhawk the first time they met. Things don't go well when he tries to help. It keeps being true.]

[laserhawk]

[ hm. ]

That's not what it looks like to me.

[petsthedog]

Oh yeah? What's it look like to you, then?

[laserhawk]

Like you finally gave it a shot.

[petsthedog]

[He squirms a little bit in the older man's grasp, though evidently it's just to rub uncomfortably at his neck.]

Tch...it's been a shitshow from the top, man. I didn't plan on any of it.

[laserhawk]

Sometimes, it is.

[ dolph's been in plenty of shitshows. here and back home. ]

Nothing works out perfectly.

[petsthedog]

[He lets out a little sigh.]

I'd settle for working out at all, I think.

[laserhawk]

And maybe it will. What you do may open up an avenue for someone else to finish it.

[ a pause as he amends, even gently. ]

We always want it to work out. . . . I know that feeling well.

[petsthedog]

[If someone else finishes it, he doubts it'll have anything to do with him. He simply failed, ultimately. Oda was simply way too fast, shot him and escaped before he could even summon Castor.

And what happened to Aki ... it'd been because of him, in a way. His friend struggling with -- grief, or guilt, or something, he doesn't know. They haven't exactly gotten to talk about it yet. Shinjiro's never exactly been the sort to wait at someone's bedside for them to come to, as it were.

He keeps all that to himself. You always think everyone has it easier than you. He doesn't have the energy to argue again.]

Yeah. It's exhausting.

[laserhawk]

It is. It's the most exhausting shit in the world.

[ no question about it. no holding back in his answer. and yet. ]

And it's still worth it.

[petsthedog]

[He goes quiet for a very, very long moment.]

....Not sure that's true with everyone.

[Isn't so sure involving himself in things will ever end up more than a fool's errand, a mistake he keeps making over and over. He really doesn't want to fight again, though, so he adds, quickly:]

But I don't think these wishes come with take-backs, so...hell if I know. Nothing to do but try to make it worth it, somehow.

[He doesn't sound like he believes he'll succeed, though.]

[laserhawk]

Wishes?

[ he frowns. ]

Is that what happened?

[petsthedog]

Kind of, I guess. Put myself in the situation 'cause the wish was already made earlier. Tried to make it count. Failed again.

[Absolutely humiliating things to admit while being carried princess-style to a clinic, but dignity's long left the building, so what the fuck does it even matter anymore.]

[laserhawk]

[ hm. ]

What did you wish for?

[petsthedog]

[He hesitates, not quite sure he wants to air out what happened before with Aki, but knowing the wish wouldn't possibly make sense without that context.]

It's complicated.

[A long moment, and then he sighs.]

Friend of mine made a mistake. Had to set it right before it was too late.

[laserhawk]

[ complicated indeed. it's fine though. dolph isn't going to delve right at this moment. it'd be unfair when shinji can't literally leave. ]

All right. We can't deal with it right now. Getting you healed comes first.

[petsthedog]

Yeah.

[He goes quiet again for a while, the only sound the noise of Laserhawk's footfalls as he walks. Eventually:]

...Thanks for coming.

[laserhawk]

I said I'd come.

No strings. No explanation.

[petsthedog]

I know.

[Quietly, but not hesitantly. His eyes remain firmly closed, but he adds:]

It's why I messaged you.

[An ever so faint emphasis on 'you', there and gone. Blink and you'll miss it.]

[laserhawk]

[ ah. dolph slows down a touch because that's large. something of magnitude, even if this isn't the time or place to tackle it. ]

As long as you believe it.

[petsthedog]

I do. You mean what you say.

[Even when they don't agree, or he feels unheard or misunderstood as he does sometimes, he knows that the man is nothing other than honest and upfront with him. He respects that. He always has.]