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[laserhawk]

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[petsthedog]

I do. You mean what you say.

[Even when they don't agree, or he feels unheard or misunderstood as he does sometimes, he knows that the man is nothing other than honest and upfront with him. He respects that. He always has.]

[laserhawk]

I try.

I don't want to miss chances by vacillating about my words. Or my feelings.

[petsthedog]

[Chances, huh. Shinjiro's...worn out on chances, he thinks. Each new failure wears on his soul like razor wire. He nods from his awkward position in the man's arms, eyes still closed.]

Makes sense. You got a lot of 'em to catch up on, yeah?

[What with Eden's whole...everything. Shinjiro's quiet for the rest of the trip, after that. Even after his feet are taken care of properly at the clinic, he can't quite summon up the energy to go on his way or do much more than free up the bed for others who will need it. He leans up against a windowsill in the lobby, staring out at the chaos in the streets and the tattoo that's marked his wrists.

He's lost track of Laserhawk's presence entirely, some part of him having assumed the man has long since left. If there are footsteps nearby, he doesn't process them.]

[laserhawk]

[ dolph isn't in the habit of dropping people at the clinic and waltzing off. he doesn't do it to strangers and he's hardly going to do it to shinji, especially since shinji made the hard call of asking for help. ]

You awake?

[petsthedog]

[Oh, he's still here. Not for the first or last time, Shinjiro wonders if he's really worth the effort.]

...Yeah. Good as new, or something.

[He doesn't exactly sound happy about it, though.]

[laserhawk]

Yeah, you sound thrilled.

[ c'mon man. ]

cw reference to suicidal feelings

[petsthedog]

Do I ever?

[It's almost a joke, like trying to meet halfway. He's grateful, he really is, it's just ... difficult. Six months out, he still struggles to want the air that's been returned to his lungs. Especially at times like these.]

[laserhawk]

No. You're a real downer.

But that's fine too.

[petsthedog]

Gotta have someone to balance out all the cheerful optimists around here.

[Look at that, two entire quasi-jokes. Whomst is he.]

...I can make my own way home, y'know. You don't gotta sit around and wait for me.

[laserhawk]

[ dolph's brow furrows. ]

I know I don't.

I don't do anything I don't want to.

[petsthedog]

Sure, I just mean -- there's no need to worry about me. I'm fine now.

[laserhawk]

You're missing the point.

It has nothing to do with need.

[petsthedog]

[Ah. The implication does settle, this time. It's a good thing he's already looking out the window and not at the older man.]

I'm shit company.

[laserhawk]

[ dryly. ]

Wow, what a surprise.

[petsthedog]

[This feels like the establishment of something, in a way Shinjiro’s not quite sure what to do with. He feels like he should try harder to convince Laserhawk it’s a bad idea, to somehow push him to leave and properly write him off.

…]

So you're just gonna waste time hanging out with some miserable asshole in a magic hospital, huh?

[The moment hangs for what seems like an eternity, and then something just … gives. It’s not quite a smile, but it’s softer perhaps than the man before him would have ever seen. At peace with this one thing, maybe.]

…Alright.

[laserhawk]

[ looks like something finally clicked. his own expression softens too. ]

I've got time. Might as well use it.

[petsthedog]

[They sit in silence for some time. It's not uncomfortable, though, the way it was on the walk here. It just is as it is.

Eventually, he's looking at his wrists again before he draws his gaze back up at the older man.]

You ever have ... someone try to do shit for you that they really shouldn't've?

[laserhawk]

[ dolph falls silent. his expression turns . . . somber. ]

No. No one's ever done anything for me.

[ he supposes alex did but who knows how much of that was true? how much was alex truly loving dolph, accepting him, wishing for a future with him?

and how much was just a manipulative lie? ]

Not until I came here.

[petsthedog]

Mm, here's how I meant it.

[Laserhawk's told him more than once before, after all, about how he had nothing and nobody, back in Eden. He shakes his head, though, as to wave the question off. He's not looking to rub salt into the wound, after all.]

Long story short, had shit wished for me. Dunno what the hell he was thinking when he did it, but. It backfired. Spectacularly.

[laserhawk]

[ ah. he supposed it was going to happen sooner or later. ]

He was thinking he could help. And not beyond that. It happens.

And you're not mad that he did that. You just didn't want it wasted on you.

[petsthedog]

I'm not mad he did it.

[Well, maybe a little. In the sense he always used to get mad about his recklessness, back in the SEES days.]

But it was stupid. Locals almost got killed. I couldn't let him end up like me.

[laserhawk]

[ ah. ]

Do you think that'll happen?

[petsthedog]

It was already happening. Shovin' an unstable monster in a soul it didn't even belong to was a recipe for disaster.

[The meaning of the tattoo on his wrists might be more obvious, now. Shackles, for the burden he willingly placed back on his own shoulders and chained himself to.]

[laserhawk]

He was careless but he wanted to help you.

So what do you want from him?

[petsthedog]

[He shakes his head. He's not explaining this well.]

Nothing. I'm just -- frustrated. Thought it'd be enough just to undo what he did, take Castor back, but he was messed up so bad he turned right into one of those damn crystal things anyway. An' that ain't even the end of it all...

[After all that, he wasn't even fast enough to summon him the next time someone was in trouble. There's a sharp, agitated exhale.]

Shit always goes to hell when I'm involved. Some things just don't change.