[Standing at the front door of Dolph's beach house, Oda doesn't look all that different than he normally does. His expression is calm, composed; his fingers twitch, but he doesn't ball up his fists.
[All exercises in restraint. Inside, he's frenzied, like being chased by a swarm of insects, running blindly. He knocks on Dolph's door - hard, loud. He doesn't want there to be any chance of Dolph simply not hearing him.
[He has to be here. The beach house still stands. He has to be here.
[Oda bounces on his feet, unable to keep still, about four seconds from thundering inside himself and turning over furniture to find him.
[He calls through the door, voice edged.]
Dolph?
[All exercises in restraint. Inside, he's frenzied, like being chased by a swarm of insects, running blindly. He knocks on Dolph's door - hard, loud. He doesn't want there to be any chance of Dolph simply not hearing him.
[He has to be here. The beach house still stands. He has to be here.
[Oda bounces on his feet, unable to keep still, about four seconds from thundering inside himself and turning over furniture to find him.
[He calls through the door, voice edged.]
Dolph?
[ that's surprising. dolph blinks before heading over to answer the door. oda doesn't normally stop by. they prefer to meet up in quartz to talk. something must have happened but what?
the door's pulled open and dolph takes him in, brow furrowed. ]
Hey, Oda. Everything okay?
the door's pulled open and dolph takes him in, brow furrowed. ]
Hey, Oda. Everything okay?
[Seeing him there in the flesh hits Oda harder than a brick wall to a speeding car. He reaches out to grip his friend's arm, tight.
[He blurts out his words without thinking - there's no other way to say it, is there?
[His voice remains calm, but...Dolph ought to know better.]
Dazai is gone. Maruki too.
[He blurts out his words without thinking - there's no other way to say it, is there?
[His voice remains calm, but...Dolph ought to know better.]
Dazai is gone. Maruki too.
[ oh. it was too good to last. the pain hits him like a brick and he inhales sharply as he feels the blow. what happened to the machiya? was it still standing? what about akechi? and the others? eren — oh, he can feel the answer to that already.
but oda is here right now. and dazai was his friend too. for oda . . . this is a lot. he can feel the fractures, the tightness that aches. dolph places a hand upon oda's shoulder. ]
I'm here. Come inside.
but oda is here right now. and dazai was his friend too. for oda . . . this is a lot. he can feel the fractures, the tightness that aches. dolph places a hand upon oda's shoulder. ]
I'm here. Come inside.
[I'm here. Those two words make him want to cry. He won't, doesn't, can't, but he wants to. He steps inside with Dolph, keep ahold of him by the shoulder, fingertips digging bluntly into the muscle. He keeps having to remind himself not to grit his teeth.]
They could come back. Dazai did once. [Oda doesn't sound convinced.]
They could come back. Dazai did once. [Oda doesn't sound convinced.]
[ yes. people have come back. but sometimes they don't come back. sometimes they come back, forgotten everything. in a different shape. dolph has been through it all by now.
is it better to give hope? in truth, it could go either way. oda's luck is better than dolph's. odds are in his favor. alas that dolph knew them too. that always dragged luck to the bottom of the river. livio never came back. levi and erwin are gone. astarion returned but not as himself and broken promises crunched under his feet.
but vash did. so he won't pretend hope doesn't exist. ]
Yeah. He did.
[ he feels the noose of it though. dazai didn't want to come back. dazai wanted it to end. oda knew that well enough. the noose is leashed around them, tightening.
instead dolph slides his human palm over oda's cheeks, settling there. no point pressing cold metal there. let warmth call to warmth. ]
Don't give up. They need you too. Hold onto that.
is it better to give hope? in truth, it could go either way. oda's luck is better than dolph's. odds are in his favor. alas that dolph knew them too. that always dragged luck to the bottom of the river. livio never came back. levi and erwin are gone. astarion returned but not as himself and broken promises crunched under his feet.
but vash did. so he won't pretend hope doesn't exist. ]
Yeah. He did.
[ he feels the noose of it though. dazai didn't want to come back. dazai wanted it to end. oda knew that well enough. the noose is leashed around them, tightening.
instead dolph slides his human palm over oda's cheeks, settling there. no point pressing cold metal there. let warmth call to warmth. ]
Don't give up. They need you too. Hold onto that.
we can wrap or feel free to keep going if u have more? :3c
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
savetheweak
- 2025-10-08 00:16 (UTC) - ExpandHave you and Jean-san been doing alright?
I imagine some of our friends are distracted right now.
Maruki-san disappeared a few days ago. You know, right?
Maruki-san disappeared a few days ago. You know, right?
oct 4th; cws for death, grief, ptsd, suicidal ideation throughout
petsthedog
2025-10-13 08:09 am (UTC)(link)
[Shinjiro feels increasingly restless, as the date approaches closer. Everything's been coming to a head, of late. The labyrinth driving home a point he's avoided confronting directly -- the aftermath of his death. It was as the older man had said, all those months ago. There were ripples, pain that branched out. And they all had to live with another lie, too, because deaths during the Dark Hour aren't allowed to stand as they were.
It's a strange feeling, to be coming upon this day again, nearly a full year past the point he expected to be done and finished, and staring down the prospect of maybe even seeing another one. He'll be twenty, next year. Officially an adult, for how little that meant here. It's not as oppressive a prospect as it once was, though, and he's not sure how he feels about that. There are little snatches of contentment that reach him, now and again -- days when he walks Koromaru, bickers with Aki, cooks for Flat when he comes by, and doesn't think about an alley with a crushed roof and a crushed woman inside and a boy whose future was crushed alongside it -- and whenever he becomes aware of them it feels like a live wire of electricity all through his body, like a fresh gunshot stealing the breath out of his lungs. There's a certain numbness that comes of constant pain; once you remember what it's like to experience a few moments without it, the suffering is all the more intense when it returns.
He wakes, on the morning of the 4th, and it's a day like any other day. There will be another tomorrow, and the next day, and the one after that, because there's no definite ending for him, not any longer. He's not sure if changing that is what he needs anymore, either -- conversations he's put off not entirely of his own choosing, what with the barrage of nonsense this place throws at them, but longer than he should have. Fear of living, perhaps -- or maybe fear of what it would mean, to give himself a chance to. To actually want it.
He wanders aimlessly around the streets of Stellari, unsure what kind of destination wouldn't feel like the equivalent of nails on chalkboard, today, but ultimately ... he finds himself at a certain beach. It's just past sunset, orange and purple hues staining the sky as the sun dips below the horizon, faded away with the coming of night.
He sits quietly in the sand, breeze cool against his face, the ebb and flow of the waves like a metronome to measure his own heartbeats. He can't decide if he resents them, tonight.]
It's a strange feeling, to be coming upon this day again, nearly a full year past the point he expected to be done and finished, and staring down the prospect of maybe even seeing another one. He'll be twenty, next year. Officially an adult, for how little that meant here. It's not as oppressive a prospect as it once was, though, and he's not sure how he feels about that. There are little snatches of contentment that reach him, now and again -- days when he walks Koromaru, bickers with Aki, cooks for Flat when he comes by, and doesn't think about an alley with a crushed roof and a crushed woman inside and a boy whose future was crushed alongside it -- and whenever he becomes aware of them it feels like a live wire of electricity all through his body, like a fresh gunshot stealing the breath out of his lungs. There's a certain numbness that comes of constant pain; once you remember what it's like to experience a few moments without it, the suffering is all the more intense when it returns.
He wakes, on the morning of the 4th, and it's a day like any other day. There will be another tomorrow, and the next day, and the one after that, because there's no definite ending for him, not any longer. He's not sure if changing that is what he needs anymore, either -- conversations he's put off not entirely of his own choosing, what with the barrage of nonsense this place throws at them, but longer than he should have. Fear of living, perhaps -- or maybe fear of what it would mean, to give himself a chance to. To actually want it.
He wanders aimlessly around the streets of Stellari, unsure what kind of destination wouldn't feel like the equivalent of nails on chalkboard, today, but ultimately ... he finds himself at a certain beach. It's just past sunset, orange and purple hues staining the sky as the sun dips below the horizon, faded away with the coming of night.
He sits quietly in the sand, breeze cool against his face, the ebb and flow of the waves like a metronome to measure his own heartbeats. He can't decide if he resents them, tonight.]
[ the beach is a place dolph comes back to. perhaps it's a cruel thing to do, to attach a beach to his house. the beach which was the culmination of his dream with alex. his future. but now those feelings have faded, vestiges of what they once were. now, he just gets to feel the breeze and the salt and feel . . . alive.
so he comes back to it often. to keep the dream alive or just to remind himself that some dreams don't need to be torn up completely. it is a surprise to see shinji there. without calling or notice. shinji is always so careful about those things. ]
Hey.
so he comes back to it often. to keep the dream alive or just to remind himself that some dreams don't need to be torn up completely. it is a surprise to see shinji there. without calling or notice. shinji is always so careful about those things. ]
Hey.
[Perhaps all the more tellingly, he doesn't react until Laserhawk actually speaks. He turns his head to acknowledge the older man briefly before it turns back to the sea.]
Hey.
[The quiet lingers a moment too long before he tries speaking again.]
How're married sunsets? All those sappy songs onto somethin'?
[The levity in his voice is -- strained, though.]
Hey.
[The quiet lingers a moment too long before he tries speaking again.]
How're married sunsets? All those sappy songs onto somethin'?
[The levity in his voice is -- strained, though.]
Yeah. This place sure ain't gonna take it easy on us, so you might as well make the best of whatever's in your hands.
[Easier said than done, of course. Especially on a night like tonight.]
[Easier said than done, of course. Especially on a night like tonight.]
![drawing like she promised!]](https://images.plurk.com/3Ftfgo2BIqUrcShLgDGCIF.png){kind=link}
[ On Christmas morning, Dolph will receive a package containing a framed photo he hasn't seen before – taken by Eren at the wedding, an utterly candid moment of just the two of them before the ceremony began. He has his arm slung around Dolph's shoulders still, as if he just pulled away from a hug but couldn't entirely let go yet. Their heads are bowed together, a dopey grin across Maruki's face, and a rare, beautiful smile on Dolph's– small and subdued in comparison to his expressive best friend, but on this day it's endlessly warm, entirely genuine. The joy can be felt through the photo no matter what.
There's a note as well:
Merry Christmas, Dolph.
Being by your side on such a happy day is one of the greatest honors of my life. I'll never know another friend as dear as you.
- Takuto ]
There's a note as well:
Merry Christmas, Dolph.
Being by your side on such a happy day is one of the greatest honors of my life. I'll never know another friend as dear as you.
- Takuto ]
Page 4 of 4