To be frank, I don't want people around who think how I think. That's useless to me.
Those whose opinions I value most often have opinions that deviate greatly from my own. Too many people are willing to 'agree' with a celebrity or try to predict what I want them to say in the hopes of earning my favor. It's maddening.
I'm sure you understand how that is. To be surrounded by a bunch of a yes men - I can think of nothing worse.
[It's never occurred to him that another person would. His plan has always been large in execution, small in scope. Important to him and him alone because he's the only one that gets why. That will ever get why. Because Akechi Goro is the only person left in the world that remembers his mother.
To anyone else, he wants to be a celebrity. A detective. Go to college, go to work, get married - all qualities important in society, all matters he pretends to give a single shit about when speaking to people. He could lie to Dolph and spew out the same old lines, but the man would pick up on in an instant. ]
It's the one matter left that's my own. It's not a talking point or something I need another viewpoint on. My goal is mine and thus, I don't need anyone else to understand it.
[ need feels like the wrong word. want feels more correct. dolph would have flipped his lid if someone tried to empathize over killing alex. or sarah. all those people he wiped out in an instant. he doesn't feel guilty. he doesn't feel regret. even alex — whose presence still looms in his head — he won't give him that inch of his soul.
alex dug that grave. dolph kicked him in it. they both knew that. ]
I figured. No reason to deviate.
But why the thought exercises? What purpose do they serve, really?
Philosophy fascinates me. Morality, ethics, good, evil, just and unjust and how that intertwines. Thought exercises are a byproduct of that.
It helps you think through situations with no correct answer. There is no 'truth' so to speak - only what one thinks is right, how they perceive the scenario and the different paths taken to get there based on their own life, experiences and perception.
A detective can't operate by relying on black and white logic, after all. This helps me in numerous ways.
So when you say you would save the bug, despite knowing it would die - lost, alone, and forgotten on a countertop versus letting it drown in a world it can't escape -
Some time ago, you made a post asking others who they want to be. You didn't know what your own answer would be at that point or didn't seem assured, in any case.
How do you feel now?
You're not ashamed of yourself, have qualities that are uniquely you - surely you've come to some conclusion on that matter.
[ he pauses. he remembers that post. it hadn't given him a clear cut answer back then. not that he expected much from the network. now, though. with all the discussions and changes . . . his answer feels clearer.
in a way, the thing that helped him break away from alex, who shattered the illusion of a false, perfect reality, that made him choose . . . was himself. his own self. ]
I won't say it's the only thing that matters. But I've realized that the one line I won't cross is giving up who I am. Maybe the what or the shape of it doesn't match up to anyone else in the world. Maybe it never will.
That's fine. Even if I'm the only one, I'll hold onto myself.
[ in a weird way, dolph does believe that. their paths are divergent now, with dolph at the end of his journey, but also at the beginning of one while akechi still has his goal to reach.
[There's a degree of discomfort in the realization Dolph knows more than most when it comes to a person's true self being separate from an image. Fury burns hot in his chest. It tempers to an ember moments later.
They've discussed this. It's nothing outside of the norm. All Akechi has to do is pretend he gives a shit about something and Dolph will be appeased. It's not as if he knows what Akechi's capable of, what he'll do or the life he's living in the shadow of perfection.]
If that's your wish, I'll indulge it.
You may be disappointed in the outcome. I'm an open book - there's little you haven't seen and less hidden that you couldn't glean. I'm only a normal teenager after all.
[There's a pause. Akechi is typing. Backspaces and-]
However, if it's someone's true self you wish to hold onto, I would rather share a different tale with you.
Everyone knows The Detective Prince in my reality. I'm a common household name. My memory will be preserved with that alone for the time fame is afforded to me.
[His mother-
There's a longer, distinct pause. It lasts a minute, then two and-]
If you're willing, I would like to go to the bathhouse with you sometime.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I guess I'd take it out. Dunno why the guy just left it there? Weird choice.
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That's my assumption, in any case.
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Is this something you do often? Thought exercises?
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More than that, asking others their viewpoints on such things and seeing how we differ - that's where my true interests lie.
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To be frank, I don't want people around who think how I think. That's useless to me.
Those whose opinions I value most often have opinions that deviate greatly from my own. Too many people are willing to 'agree' with a celebrity or try to predict what I want them to say in the hopes of earning my favor. It's maddening.
I'm sure you understand how that is. To be surrounded by a bunch of a yes men - I can think of nothing worse.
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[ but — ]
I wonder if it is also easier in a way when no one quite get it. A sense of security. Especially when it comes to your goals.
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[It's never occurred to him that another person would. His plan has always been large in execution, small in scope. Important to him and him alone because he's the only one that gets why. That will ever get why. Because Akechi Goro is the only person left in the world that remembers his mother.
To anyone else, he wants to be a celebrity. A detective. Go to college, go to work, get married - all qualities important in society, all matters he pretends to give a single shit about when speaking to people. He could lie to Dolph and spew out the same old lines, but the man would pick up on in an instant. ]
It's the one matter left that's my own. It's not a talking point or something I need another viewpoint on. My goal is mine and thus, I don't need anyone else to understand it.
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alex dug that grave. dolph kicked him in it. they both knew that. ]
I figured. No reason to deviate.
But why the thought exercises? What purpose do they serve, really?
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It helps you think through situations with no correct answer. There is no 'truth' so to speak - only what one thinks is right, how they perceive the scenario and the different paths taken to get there based on their own life, experiences and perception.
A detective can't operate by relying on black and white logic, after all. This helps me in numerous ways.
So when you say you would save the bug, despite knowing it would die - lost, alone, and forgotten on a countertop versus letting it drown in a world it can't escape -
It's fascinating to me, is all.
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Well, you know me. I'm a huge fan of lost causes. Myself included.
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But that makes you, you. There's no shame in it.
[That explains why he's friends with Eren and Maruki. ]
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Which reminds me -
Some time ago, you made a post asking others who they want to be. You didn't know what your own answer would be at that point or didn't seem assured, in any case.
How do you feel now?
You're not ashamed of yourself, have qualities that are uniquely you - surely you've come to some conclusion on that matter.
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in a way, the thing that helped him break away from alex, who shattered the illusion of a false, perfect reality, that made him choose . . . was himself. his own self. ]
I won't say it's the only thing that matters. But I've realized that the one line I won't cross is giving up who I am. Maybe the what or the shape of it doesn't match up to anyone else in the world. Maybe it never will.
That's fine. Even if I'm the only one, I'll hold onto myself.
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I certainly hope you're able to maintain that for the rest of your days.
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but it makes him wonder. ]
Can I make a request?
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Can you . . . share a little of your true self with me?
I want to hold onto it.
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They've discussed this. It's nothing outside of the norm. All Akechi has to do is pretend he gives a shit about something and Dolph will be appeased. It's not as if he knows what Akechi's capable of, what he'll do or the life he's living in the shadow of perfection.]
If that's your wish, I'll indulge it.
You may be disappointed in the outcome. I'm an open book - there's little you haven't seen and less hidden that you couldn't glean. I'm only a normal teenager after all.
[There's a pause. Akechi is typing. Backspaces and-]
However, if it's someone's true self you wish to hold onto, I would rather share a different tale with you.
Everyone knows The Detective Prince in my reality. I'm a common household name. My memory will be preserved with that alone for the time fame is afforded to me.
[His mother-
There's a longer, distinct pause. It lasts a minute, then two and-]
If you're willing, I would like to go to the bathhouse with you sometime.
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[ these thoughts do not connect. a serious discussion . . . while naked???? ]
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You asked for this discussion, didn't you?
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Anyway. I'll be there.
text - > action
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cw: suicide
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cw: suicide
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canon doesnt give it but he would know <3
better than sexyleggygoddess69 at least
SCREAMFJDSOPJG
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cw: violent thoughts
wrapppps?