If I'm being honest, I remember very little of my own mother as well. She took matters into her own hands when I was young. Whether I had started school or not - I can't recall. My memory of that time is a bit fuzzy.
[And all too clear. The timeframe is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. He remembers a corpse - that's all she is.]
My point is - she dealt with disparaging remarks more than I did. When I was moved into various homes, they would occasionally make comments about her occupation and life choices that I learned to tune out. For the most part, of course.
[ had his mother been the same? he knew she was desperate. they were poor. he lived on the streets. he remembers that biting cold, the struggle. sometimes he remembers hands on his shoulders, but. who could verify such a thing?
and . . . eden said she sold him to them. was that true? ]
Akira used to know. Maruki knows. The social workers that write off her memory and the crumpled family registry he once clung to like a lifeline knows.
Now Dolph does too.
It makes him want to puke, so he sinks in the water until his shoulders are covered. It's an uncomfortable, disconcerting feeling. Better that Dolph knows because there's no chance of him ever using it against him - he'll die in this world, or his original one. It'll never reach the streets of Tokyo.]
I don't think about her often. Time heals most wounds and this is one among them. I'm much older and have long since gotten over it. She rarely enters my thoughts-
[Time to form plans. Time to take out the rot. Time to remember that in the end, it was Akechi Goro that killed her.]
But when I take baths like this, I'm reminded of her. Only for a moment.
That is unexpected. That pulls his mind free from where his focus was, the pooling water around his chest.
Maybe he underestimated Dolph. There's tension pulling at his shoulders, his eyes stay fixated on the man beside him.]
No. [Decisive. Immediate.] My father is supposedly a lowlife who abandoned her the moment she got pregnant. I don't know who he is and I'm not interested.
it was the prince who spoke of a father. it was the first time dolph had ever heard akechi mention one. this reality is painful, odd, strange and perplexing, but everything it does, it does for a reason. to garner a reaction, to let secrets play.
he told webby not long ago, it's like reality tv.
revenge is always . . . personal. ]
Maybe not back then.
But you know where he is now, don't you? The king.
[ well. that was convincing. and not at all weird. should he push it? he's not really here to unravel akechi or to pry into his secrets. he only put forward his request because he wanted to ensure some memory of akechi, some truth could live on.
but. perhaps that is not what akechi wants. in the throes of revenge and loss, the only thing that matters is the hopeful chance of mutual oblivion.
it's telling though. ]
Okay.
[ because akechi didn't say there is no king. he said I don't know who the king is. ]
There are no kings. Just like there are no princes.
[There are no kings. There are two kings. There is one king.
There are no princes. There was never a prince. There is one prince. There is no prince. There is no prince.]
Right.
[Right.
Right.
There's a kid in a bathhouse. No kings. No princes. It's Akechi Goro. It's Dolph Laserhawk. It's a bath in a false world that gets further from his true life with every passing second.
It's a memory passed on of the existence of Akechi ̷̠͎͆ ̵̛̫͍̟͚̳̈́́̍̽̀̊̇͐̈́̉͆͝ ̴̧͕͇͔̏͌̈́͗͒͛̔͂̐͊̇̕̕͜͜͝ whose life was so unjust that a man she never met holds her name. Is one of the few that does.
In the silence, in an unwavering expression, in the boiling hot water he'll sit in for the next few hours-
He remembers. He recalls. He can't recall. He can't remember. He almost says She liked flowers. Opts for-]
Thank you for joining me here today.
[Maybe. Probably. Couldn't possibly. He can't remember - she might have, he thinks she did and-]
You really are remarkable, Dolph Laserhawk.
[And for a moment, he thinks, he could drown Dolph here. He can't stand it. He can't stand this.]
[ that probably wraps it up. the look on akechi's face tells him all he needs to know. whatever roadblock akechi is wrestling with, there are only two options. dolph can push through or he can leave it there. and maybe he will, someday. maybe things will come to a head and he won't budge. maybe sooner than he thinks.
but. right now, dolph can't see the good in it. what good would it do akechi? what good would it do him? so he'll take this as it is. one step at a time. ]
Sure.
[ he rises, shaking his metal arm a little and grimacing at the heat. still, he glances at the bathhouse. recognizes it for what it is. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
A surprise. One that startles him - shakes the rotten thoughts taking root in his mind free. Makes him focus back on Dolph.]
I didn't expect you to say that. Your background is as surprising as ever, though it's not unwelcome to have someone who understands what it's like.
no subject
It's just something they used to belittle me about.
[ he feels a bit self-conscious. wrong footed. the grief cannot match. how could it? his parents were formless in his mind. ]
cw: suicide
[And all too clear. The timeframe is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. He remembers a corpse - that's all she is.]
My point is - she dealt with disparaging remarks more than I did. When I was moved into various homes, they would occasionally make comments about her occupation and life choices that I learned to tune out. For the most part, of course.
no subject
and . . . eden said she sold him to them. was that true? ]
. . . Do you know her name?
canon doesnt give it but he would know <3
[Akechi repeats it.
Akira used to know. Maruki knows. The social workers that write off her memory and the crumpled family registry he once clung to like a lifeline knows.
Now Dolph does too.
It makes him want to puke, so he sinks in the water until his shoulders are covered. It's an uncomfortable, disconcerting feeling. Better that Dolph knows because there's no chance of him ever using it against him - he'll die in this world, or his original one. It'll never reach the streets of Tokyo.]
I don't think about her often. Time heals most wounds and this is one among them. I'm much older and have long since gotten over it. She rarely enters my thoughts-
[Time to form plans. Time to take out the rot. Time to remember that in the end, it was Akechi Goro that killed her.]
But when I take baths like this, I'm reminded of her. Only for a moment.
better than sexyleggygoddess69 at least
But she's the reason for it all, isn't she? Your revenge against your father?
SCREAMFJDSOPJG
is a surprise.
That is unexpected. That pulls his mind free from where his focus was, the pooling water around his chest.
Maybe he underestimated Dolph. There's tension pulling at his shoulders, his eyes stay fixated on the man beside him.]
No. [Decisive. Immediate.] My father is supposedly a lowlife who abandoned her the moment she got pregnant. I don't know who he is and I'm not interested.
no subject
it was the prince who spoke of a father. it was the first time dolph had ever heard akechi mention one. this reality is painful, odd, strange and perplexing, but everything it does, it does for a reason. to garner a reaction, to let secrets play.
he told webby not long ago, it's like reality tv.
revenge is always . . . personal. ]
Maybe not back then.
But you know where he is now, don't you? The king.
no subject
There's a God.
They're interchangeable. The same. Wildly different. Akechi's intent towards both nestled and rooted in his heart. Only one-
matters. They both matter. Maybe they never mattered.
Only Shido matters.
And Akechi is a child, contacting a god through a heart racing, cryptic exchange.
And Akechi thinks they're both gods. And Akechi thinks they're both kings.
His mouth is dry - he doesn't blink. The King is-]
You're grasping at straws. A delusion isn't proof. I wasn't in my right mind.
[He doesn't know. He doesn't know. He knows. He knows. He knows.]
I don't know who the king is.
no subject
but. perhaps that is not what akechi wants. in the throes of revenge and loss, the only thing that matters is the hopeful chance of mutual oblivion.
it's telling though. ]
Okay.
[ because akechi didn't say there is no king. he said I don't know who the king is. ]
There are no kings. Just like there are no princes.
Just a kid in a bathhouse.
[ waiting for a mother who will never come. ]
cw: violent thoughts
There are no princes. There was never a prince. There is one prince. There is no prince. There is no prince.]
Right.
[Right.
There's a kid in a bathhouse.
No kings. No princes.
It's Akechi Goro. It's Dolph Laserhawk.
It's a bath in a false world that gets further from his true life with every passing second.
It's a memory passed on of the existence of Akechi ̷̠͎͆ ̵̛̫͍̟͚̳̈́́̍̽̀̊̇͐̈́̉͆͝ ̴̧͕͇͔̏͌̈́͗͒͛̔͂̐͊̇̕̕͜͜͝ whose life was so unjust that a man she never met holds her name. Is one of the few that does.
In the silence, in an unwavering expression, in the boiling hot water he'll sit in for the next few hours-
He remembers. He recalls. He can't recall. He can't remember. He almost says She liked flowers. Opts for-]
Thank you for joining me here today.
[Maybe. Probably. Couldn't possibly. He can't remember - she might have, he thinks she did and-]
You really are remarkable, Dolph Laserhawk.
[And for a moment, he thinks, he could drown Dolph here. He can't stand it. He can't stand this.]
wrapppps?
but. right now, dolph can't see the good in it. what good would it do akechi? what good would it do him? so he'll take this as it is. one step at a time. ]
Sure.
[ he rises, shaking his metal arm a little and grimacing at the heat. still, he glances at the bathhouse. recognizes it for what it is. ]
It's safe here. Let's keep it that way.
[ with that, he nods before leaving. ]