( inbox )

[laserhawk]

( audio | video | text )

Comments

[livlaughlove]

Okay... [He squeezes his hands slightly around Dolph's, unsure if he wants more contact.

Maybe it's selfish to try to relate to him out loud, but... it also feels like Dolph is so alone and Liv would give anything in this moment to make it not so.]

... I loved, too. I wasn't in love, but -- it was still real love. [His feelings may have been manipulated, but they were real. Not just to Livio.] The person I loved and trusted the most tried to kill me, just because it was convenient. I gave him my everything, and I was still expendable.

[laserhawk]

[ oh. dolph looks up at him, eyes wide. he knew there were similarities, he just didn't think it was completely across. tentatively, he laces his fingers with livio. ]

How did you go on?

[ because dolph . . . hadn't wanted to. killing alex was the right thing to do and he didn't feel guilty but . . . the pain was indescribable. like his heart had been wrenched out of his chest. ]

[livlaughlove]

[That makes him feel a little better about moving closer.

Part of Livio (he knows exactly what part) still feels wrong being so vulnerable with someone, like he's a wild animal willfully exposing his underbelly. It makes him want to lash out or run as fast and far as he can until his legs snap beneath him.

But he doesn't. And he doesn't think he says what Dolph wants to hear, either.]

Only did because I had to. I'd say it was outta spite, but really, it's guilt.

He tried to shoot me just to get at someone he hated. Someone I did actually matter to. Only... that someone was already dyin', because of what I'd done. He saved me from that blow... From that man.

So... if I'd just given up, laid down and let myself waste away... I'd've been spittin' on my best friend's grave.

[laserhawk]

[ he does remember the guilt. leaving eden, knowing he had all that blood on his hands. he doesn't hold onto it as strongly as the anger and fear, the visceral pain he felt as eden had turned him inside out and then made him an enemy in his own country. the only place he had ever known.

eden punishes those who stand up for themselves.

gently, dolph reaches out to lay his palm against livio's cheek before leaning in to press their foreheads together. ]

It's a better world with you in it.

[livlaughlove]

[Anger and fear may always be a part of Livio, one deeper down than the other, but the guilt is what really drives him. In that sense, he and Dolph are similar, but different.

It's easy enough to crane his neck and close his eyes right now, though. To let himself find comfort in Dolph's touch.]

I'm glad y'think so. 'n I'm glad I got the chance to meet you.

[laserhawk]

[ dolph has his fingers rub soothing circles into livio's neck. the way he used to. ]

Me too.

I'm glad someone cared enough to save you.

[ he doesn't know what that is like. or he does, in a way. alex had saved him. alex destroyed him. reconciling the two is . . . a process. ]

[livlaughlove]

[Livio isn't so arrogant to think he's in a position to save Dolph in turn, but fuck if he doesn't want to at least try protecting his heart from further hurt. He slides his free hand around Dolph's waist, more unabashed and firm than he's allowed himself thus far.]

I don't agree with you, about before. I don't think love is s'posed to be easy. It is work. 'n sometimes it hurts. But I wanna put in that work. 'n I don't think you could hurt me worse'n I already have been.

[laserhawk]

[ dolph has a million excuses. it's too much work. it's too painful. it's not worth it. he doesn't even know if he can love again, as much as he may want to. instead he huffs softly, tucking his face against livio's neck. ]

We can try.

[livlaughlove]

[Just based on the conversations they've already had, Livio can imagine it isn't easy for Dolph to just go along without protest. He appreciates that. It makes it clear that Dolph is trying, too. And Livio rewards that, nuzzling into his hair to press kisses to his head.]

[laserhawk]

[ he makes a soft, pleased sound at that as he slides an arm around livio to press his palm against his back. his cheeks are warm as he murmurs, with no heat. ]

Sap.

[livlaughlove]

[Oh lord does he chuckle.]

Yeah? Took ya long enough to figure that out.

[laserhawk]

Mm. I'll remember that for next time.

[ he does shift to press a trail of kisses to the side of livio's neck. ]

[livlaughlove]

[That will instantly get a shiver out of Livio, and if Dolph keeps it up, a choked hum from Livio's throat. The tips of his fingers dig into the small of Dolph's back on reflex.]

You're... affectionate!

[laserhawk]

[ livio could probably feel the smile against his neck. ]

Surprised? You came all this way. Why wouldn't I be?

[livlaughlove]

[Absolutely, he can. It makes him shudder.]

Ain't that far, darlin'...

[laserhawk]

[ the petname makes him shiver slightly. ]

Far enough.

If you want, you can come inside.

[livlaughlove]

[Hadn't been Livio's intention, exactly, but he sure isn't complaining when he notices.

He does look up the ladder, at the structure in the tree... then back down at himself, suddenly very conscious of his size.]

Um... Y'don't think I'd hurt it?

[laserhawk]

[ he blinks, having not considered this. ]

No. I'm half made of metal. So it should be fine.

[ a brief pause. ]

. . . But if you feel uncomfortable, tell me. I don't care if you "hurt" it. I only care if you feel hurt.

[livlaughlove]

[It's fine. If Livio breaks Dolph's house he'll just have to drag him over to his. Fair is fair.]

Nah... It's okay. I trust you.

[... He will wait for Dolph's lead, though.]

[laserhawk]

[ he presses a light kiss to his jaw. ]

All right. Just follow me.

[ dolph will lead livio up the treehouse. it doesn't have water and electricity yet because he hadn't thought about visitors. the dark made it easier and he wasn't sure how ready he was for comfort.

but he does keep it clean. there's a sweater hanging off a chair and other furniture scattered about. ]

[livlaughlove]

[Yet another thing that Livio discovers makes him shiver. Logging that away.

Careful as he is climbing up, it seems sturdy enough. The view isn't bad, either.

Liv is kind of ridiculous about some things. Such as, he tries not to look too closely at anything, as if simply being in someone's home is a violation of their privacy. But he is comfortable enough for at least one comment.]

Bigger than I thought it'd be in here.

[laserhawk]

Levi told me to get a treehouse.

[ so. that's what he got. he rubs the back of his neck, a little self-conscious. he's never had his own "place" before. he shared alex's room back in eden and even before that, it was the barracks. ]

It's still strange. Having my own . . . place. I don't really know what to do with it most of the time.

[livlaughlove]

It's private, at least. And pretty.

[Livio just smiles, relaxed, hoping it helps Dolph feel more at ease.]

I get it. I really only remember living at the orphanage and the compound, so a "home" is weird to get used to. I only have stuff other folks've given me to decorate mine. [Like a certain carved plaque.]

[laserhawk]

[ he nods, not surprised livio gets it. ]

I lived on the streets. So I don't really remember what it was like.

But . . . maybe it'll come to me. In time.

[livlaughlove]

[That pulls at Liv's heart strings, but he doesn't draw attention to it unless Dolph continues to do so. He tries not to think about his time, if he can help it.]

Maybe! I'll have to make ya a whole set o' stoneware.

Oh -- that reminds me. What d'ya like to drink? You a coffee guy? [He seems like a coffee guy.] Tea? Cocoa, even?