Well, sure. I wouldn't wanna be around ya so much if it didn't do anything for me. [Livio may not be kind to himself, but he doesn't have any reason to make himself miserable while basically lying to someone by omission.]
[ dolph ruminates this for a moment. maybe he's going too fast. he only remembers it being fast and desperate. it was alex who eased him into a routine. who made it slow and normal. normal to be like this.
alex, who told pagan min he was an ashamed queer.
maybe he wasn't doing this for the right reasons. he wanted to be with livio, but he feels his head got caught up in what it used to be. what it's supposed to be. what he misses, when he's not lying to himself.
his fingers trail over livio's face, thoughtful. ]
[While Livio trusts Dolph to know what he wants, he just needs to make sure that he isn't compromising said wants solely for Livio's sake. And really... this isn't so bad, now that he's had time to adjust to the feeling of crisp air on his skin.]
If we wanna go faster, we can talk about it, yeah? But I'm alright with this, right now. Actually, would it be okay if I...
[His other hand slides down Dolph's side to rest on the hem of his shirt as well, as Livio looks up at him softly.]
[ dolph nods, guiding livio's hands up and helping him tug off his shirt. once it's off, he casually tosses it aside in one smooth movement. dolph has little to no scars to speak off, despite his work. ]
Yeah. Let's explore. It doesn't have to be . . . what I'm used to.
[Any of Livio's scars that would still be visible are from over a decade ago, quite faded. Lacerations and broken skin on his arms, shins, and back, but nothing impressive. Any fresher wound left no mark at all. Save for a couple of small, still-healing cuts he's acquired since arriving here, anyway, but even those don't look bad enough to scar.
As his hand trails slowly across Dolph's collarbone to start, still avoiding where the metal arm begins, he wonders vaguely if Dolph also had some sort of healing factor or was simply good enough to not get hit.]
I don't want you t'feel like you can't tell me if y'want more. We're grownups. We can discuss stuff.
[ there may be something to his genetics. it's why he was chosen for the program. scouted long before his injury gave them cause to experiment on him. dolph doesn't know the details and never looked back to know more. ]
[The feeling of their skin touching is almost intoxicating to Livio. In a few ways, really. Mostly, he finds it comforting. Real, honest human contact, in the most literal sense.
His hand finds its way back into Dolph's hair, brushing and stroking through it nice and slow.]
What kinda mistake? Worried you'll upset me, or somethin' else?
I'm not worried about that. [Dolph may not see it, but from what Livio has seen, he's way too conscious about hurting other people to do some purposeful fuckshit like that.] But how do you mean, exactly?
[That helps put things in perspective. As much as he wants to self-sacrifice, Livio wouldn't be doing Dolph any favors by venturing too far out of his comfort zone just to please him. It would likely only end up making Dolph feel guilty.]
I reckon we can avoid that by doin' just this. Talkin' about it.
And y'know... everyone fucks up sometimes. I can't imagine you hurtin' me on purpose, 'n I won't hold accidents against you.
[Even most of those who have harmed Livio, he doesn't hold a grudge against. Not Elendira, nor Legato, not even for supposedly killing him. Even his anger toward Conrad is for other peoples' sakes. Really, the only one he doesn't think he could ever forgive is Chapel, and it would take years of dedicated manipulation for Dolph to come close to hurting him that badly.]
[Livio could be just a little bit fussy over a lack of verbal confirmation, but he gives Dolph the benefit of the doubt. Especially since he's so sweet about it.
His fingers tighten ever so slightly in Dolph's hair. Not pulling, but holding him affectionately. His lips work softly against Dolph's for a few seconds, as well, before he turns to break the kiss and nuzzle at him instead.]
Sorry, darlin'... just one more thing. If y'find that somebody else makes you happy, or even just makes y'feel good for a while, I don't want you t'feel like you can't pursue it. You don't have to... but you got my permission. Support, even.
[ but it's fair to lay it out. dolph is the same. verbal confirmations settle easier in the heart than assumptions. and he's not one to make assumptions ever again. ]
All right. I'll keep it in mind. Both of those things.
It is. But I want the same for you. [Like Liv said earlier. Every chance Dolph has for happiness, even if he doesn't believe he deserves it.
He appreciates so much that Dolph agrees readily this time. Shows his appreciation by running his hands up and down the muscles of Dolph's back, and of course, renewing their kiss.]
[ dolph doubts it's going to happen. even with how good it feels with livio, it wouldn't surprise him if livio finds something better. and that's fine. there is no sting to nurse, no wound to patch. but the doubt doesn't impede him at the moment. the hope does not burn.
he sinks into the kiss, threading his fingers in livio's hair, using a little nail to scrape over his scalp pleasurably. ]
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alex, who told pagan min he was an ashamed queer.
maybe he wasn't doing this for the right reasons. he wanted to be with livio, but he feels his head got caught up in what it used to be. what it's supposed to be. what he misses, when he's not lying to himself.
his fingers trail over livio's face, thoughtful. ]
Then maybe I'll . . . take it slow.
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If we wanna go faster, we can talk about it, yeah? But I'm alright with this, right now. Actually, would it be okay if I...
[His other hand slides down Dolph's side to rest on the hem of his shirt as well, as Livio looks up at him softly.]
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Yeah. Let's explore. It doesn't have to be . . . what I'm used to.
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As his hand trails slowly across Dolph's collarbone to start, still avoiding where the metal arm begins, he wonders vaguely if Dolph also had some sort of healing factor or was simply good enough to not get hit.]
I don't want you t'feel like you can't tell me if y'want more. We're grownups. We can discuss stuff.
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I do want more. I want you.
[ he sighs, settling against livio. ]
I just don't want to make a mistake.
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His hand finds its way back into Dolph's hair, brushing and stroking through it nice and slow.]
What kinda mistake? Worried you'll upset me, or somethin' else?
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. . . Worried that I'll treat you the way . . . the way Alex did with me.
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It all came from Alex.
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You were never with anyone else...?
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I told you. It wasn't encouraged.
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He cranes his neck to kiss at Dolph's head, still threading his fingers through his hair.]
D'you think it would be easier on you if we... got it outta the way? [Maybe that isn't the best way to phrase it.] At least the first time.
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I don't know. I just don't to fuck up. I've always just . . . given him what he wanted.
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I reckon we can avoid that by doin' just this. Talkin' about it.
And y'know... everyone fucks up sometimes. I can't imagine you hurtin' me on purpose, 'n I won't hold accidents against you.
[Even most of those who have harmed Livio, he doesn't hold a grudge against. Not Elendira, nor Legato, not even for supposedly killing him. Even his anger toward Conrad is for other peoples' sakes. Really, the only one he doesn't think he could ever forgive is Chapel, and it would take years of dedicated manipulation for Dolph to come close to hurting him that badly.]
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You'll tell me?
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Promise. Need ya to do the same, though, okay?
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His fingers tighten ever so slightly in Dolph's hair. Not pulling, but holding him affectionately. His lips work softly against Dolph's for a few seconds, as well, before he turns to break the kiss and nuzzle at him instead.]
Sorry, darlin'... just one more thing. If y'find that somebody else makes you happy, or even just makes y'feel good for a while, I don't want you t'feel like you can't pursue it. You don't have to... but you got my permission. Support, even.
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Isn't that what I told you before?
[ but it's fair to lay it out. dolph is the same. verbal confirmations settle easier in the heart than assumptions. and he's not one to make assumptions ever again. ]
All right. I'll keep it in mind. Both of those things.
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He appreciates so much that Dolph agrees readily this time. Shows his appreciation by running his hands up and down the muscles of Dolph's back, and of course, renewing their kiss.]
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he sinks into the kiss, threading his fingers in livio's hair, using a little nail to scrape over his scalp pleasurably. ]