laserhawk | ( inbox )

Fuck them all.

[ his hands threads itself in livio's hair, combing through. another familiar motion he's not thinking too hard about. he had missed this. he had missed having someone to care for. ]

That was my dream. To leave Eden behind. Find a nice place to live quietly.

[It's... almost entirely new to Livio, honestly. But he finds it comforting. Is this how cats feel getting pet?]

Oh...

Well... At least ya got part o' that. I know this place ain't exactly Heaven, [though it is terribly pleasant for what Livio imagines is Hell,] but it's sure better than elsewhere.

[ he's good at it too. firm, but he doesn't pull hard. with a hint of nail against the scalp. practiced and nostalgic. dolph hums. ]

Yeah. There's a beach here too. I checked it out a while back.

[ vash told him about it. and dolph went there, let the waves lap at his feet. listened to the silence of it all. and mourned alex all over again. ]

Ever been to a beach?

[If he keeps it up he may get an inadvertent low hum out of Livio.]

Can't say I have. That the sort of place you like?

[ his fingers pause for a moment before resuming the long strokes. ]

Yeah. The idea of it seemed nice. Drinks, people who just wanted to relax. Warm and sunny.

[ he hesitates again. ]

It was Alex's idea.

It does sound nice...

[After a moment, Livio blinks up at Dolph. He can only imagine what goes through Dolph's mind.]

I think it'd be okay if you still liked the idea, too. If you think o' somethin' else, that's alright, too.

[ he snorts lightly. ]

I wish I could. It's not like he even believed in it. No happy endings for us.

[ and it stings that in a way, alex was right about them. neither of them ended happily. that was the price alex was willing to pay, but dolph had not. maybe that makes him naive. ]

Guess I'm struggling to come up with new ones.

[Maybe not for them, but Livio doesn't want Dolph to give up on himself.]

Well... After bein' here, I can't say I recommend the desert. Least not without water 'n shade. I'm not sure what else there is... Forest? Mountains? [Yeah, he's at a loss otherwise. But he shifts to put his arm around Dolph once more, hold him close.]

[ he sighs, leaning into his touch. ]

Yeah. Maybe it'll come to me. Time, right?

[ at least that's what everyone keeps saying. ]

Maybe...

[Forget all that, though. At least while it's less than positive. Instead, Livio finally lifts his head so he can kiss at Dolph's jaw.]

[ oh, that feels lovely. his eye flutters as he lets out a soft groan. ]

Maybe if I find something . . . you'll come with me?

[That gives him pause. Livio doesn't know how to answer at first, admittedly. There's a short silence as he frowns.

Assuming he does what Vaeros wants of him, his wish will come true, which... fulfills a promise he made. And really, everyone would be better off without him being around to put them in danger. But does he even have that choice?]

... If it's here, absolutely.

If not...

I don't know if I can. I -- I think I died.

[ ah. well then. ]

So did I.

[Guess they're stuck on this capricious island forever.

Livio sighs, lays his head against Dolph again. What does he even say to all this.]

... Sorry.

It's fine. It's the end I chose, at least.

[ well. sort of. dolph was dying anyway. he remembers sarah's voice dimly at the time. you got what you wanted. his death wish, fulfilled. and now he's here. what does that mean for him?

he runs his fingers down livio's back quietly. ]

[Livio might not be able to relate to that quite so much -- he had at least wanted to see things through before just letting himself die. To help make sure Vash succeeded, that Legato and Knives couldn't hurt people anymore. But once the threads were tightened, nothing on the planet could have saved him short of divine intervention, and after all he's been through under the weight of a cross, Livio doesn't think he actually believes in God.

The fact that Dolph had that choice is... oddly comforting, in a fucked up way. And it won't help him for Livio to dwell on a past he can't change.]

We're here now. And as long as I am, I support your dream, wherever it'll take you.

[ that sounds nice. almost too good to be true if dolph hadn't grasped the measure of livio. all those broken pieces that they share. ]

What about your dream?

Will you let yourself have one of your own?

I... don't know that I have one. I don't know if I could ever want somethin' so specific.

[Maybe somewhere in the recesses of his mind, Livio just wants peace and happiness. But he doesn't think he deserves that, so calling it a dream feels like false hope.

Not that he wants to say that out loud to Dolph. It would be hypocritical, and he doesn't want to discourage him.]

[ gently, but still with some firmness. something he didn't think he'd have it in him. to push a little. it's strange because he found it so difficult when other people pressed the point.

maybe because . . . it still matters. even if he didn't have an answer yet. even if he lost everything. even if starting over means the pain of it all could return. like a fresh coat of paint.

he didn't want alex to be right. that happy endings were pointless for people like them. ]

I don't have one either.

I asked if you'd let yourself have one.

[It seems that's exactly what will spur Livio to finally roll over. Light pressure, applied with care. Even after everything, he's hopelessly soft.]

... I'll do my best, if one comes to me. Is that alright?

Sure.

[ he leans to press a kiss upon his brow. ]

I'll do the same.

Thank you.

[He heaves a sigh, twisting just a bit to kiss along Dolph's collarbone in turn. Livio had liked it when Dolph gave attention to the area of his neck.]

[ that is pleasant. dolph tilts his neck invitingly. ]

You're a fast learner.

I try...

[Actually, that is something about himself Livio can be proud of, even if he's used it for bitter ends before. Here, in this application, he's grateful. Livio glances up at Dolph, checking to make sure he's enjoying himself, before trailing more kisses up along his pulse.]

[ he sighs, pleased as he runs his hands down livio's hair and down his neck and back. he presses another kiss to livio's hair. ]

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