[ Jean lingers for a bit, enjoying the closeness, but eventually they return to their walk around Stellari. Eventually, they find a small diner tucked between two bigger shops, run by a portly Draconian woman and her apparent Gelfling husband. They're waved inside and sat down with menus.
Jean hooks one of his ankles around Dolph's as they sit, and after ordering something to drink, he smiles. ]
We could always get it to go, if you want, and eat on the docks.
[ Jean makes the decision there that they will get it to go, and find a good spot. ]
We couldn't really do it back home, since the dock was our first point of contact with the outside - but when we traveled off the island, we got the chance to.
[ Jean's quiet for a moment, reaching out and taking Dolph's hand - the metal one. He lets his thumb brush over the simulated joints. ]
Even when it was bad and painful, it was our home. There was plenty of joy to be found where we made the space for it.
[ He takes a deep breath. ]
I grew up in Trost District - it was a town just inside Wall Rose. The Walls were the things keeping us safe from the Titans, and Rose was the second wall. The outermost wall was Maria - that's where Eren, Mikasa and their best friend Armin grew up, in Shiganshina District. It's also where most of the farmland is kept. The innermost wall was Sina, where the King and Military Police were.
The districts are where they let a large group of people gather and live, because Titans are attracted to such places. If a breach is going to happen, it'll happen there, and they have cannons and the Garrison - soldiers whose job it is to maintain and protect those walls. If you're not lucky enough to be Military Police, and not suicidal enough to join the Survey Corps, that's where you'll end up.
[ Jean's quiet a moment, squeezes Dolph's hand. ]
When I was nine, two abnormal titans broke through wall Maria into Shiganshina. Overnight, we lost the entire outer zone, and all the farmland and towns within it. Everyone rushed inside Rose, and there wasn't enough food to go around. Two hundred and fifty thousand people, many of them elderly or jobless, were recruited to 'retake' wall Maria alongside the Survey Corps.
It was a suicide run to make sure there was enough food to go around. Most of them never returned, and the Survey Corps were in disgrace because of it.
I wasn't cognizant of much of it. I lived with my mother, and she kept me sheltered from the worst information. I didn't understand where all these people had come from, or why I couldn't get my favorite food anymore. I was a huge asshole about it to everyone.
Edited (what are timelines in aot) 2025-01-08 04:21 (UTC)
[ dolph squeezes back. rubs his thumb over his knuckles. ]
You didn't know. We're all a little guilty of that. Even me.
[ he had been raised on eden's propaganda even while they were abusing him. what else did he have? nothing but lucy's voice telling him how this is for the good of all. that he's a hero. ]
And everyone deserves to be young, while they can.
We do. We didn't get the chance - either of us. Eren and I joined military training when we were twelve, but he'd lost his mother three years prior when the Titans breached the walls - had been one of the refugees I so despised.
[ He pauses the story to order what they'd like to eat, and to ask for it to be wrapped to go. The woman actually gives them a spot that's supposed to be somewhat private, 'not too touristy' and Jean thanks her with a smile. ]
I didn't really like him, but I was jealous of him, too. For having Mikasa's heart, at first, and then for how determined he was. He had a way of sweeping people up with him.
[ He looks a little wistful. ]
Training was hard, and sometimes they really would try to kill you to test your reaction time. But at the same time... it was almost like having a big family, complete with siblings I squabbled with. And Marco was always there to smooth things over when my big mouth got the best of me.
[ comrades, huh. dolph had a few soldiers working with him, but eden never let him linger with them. he never shared their barracks, never went through the same training they all did. his own military training had been solitary. intense. for obvious reasons.
It's not something you have to figure out right away.
[ He raises Dolph's hand to press a kiss to it. ]
I know we talk about taking the chance when we have - but this is new for you. It's scary to think about putting down roots when they might be ripped away.
I recall very little. My father was supposedly an immigrant thief from India. My mother was a sex worker. Sometimes I think there were smells I associate with my father but I don't remember his face. Any of their faces.
I mostly lived on the streets before Eden. Sleeping in gutters, digging through trash.
[ There's a lot to unpack there, and not everything is something Jean can help with. But smells - and India, which he's seen talked about when Indian food is mentioned - has him mulling an idea over. ]
I haven't tried making any Indian recipes I've found. I've mostly stuck to things similar to what I know, and what Maruki's taught me, outside of pastries.
On the off chance I fuck it up... would you want me to try making something?
[ The moment is tactfully interrupted by a small cough; the draconian woman has their orders in a paper bag, and she hands it to both of them. Jean pays with the cords he's earned, and she reminds him of the spot she recommended.
Jean is quick to take Dolph's hand in his as they head towards the boardwalk. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Jean hooks one of his ankles around Dolph's as they sit, and after ordering something to drink, he smiles. ]
We could always get it to go, if you want, and eat on the docks.
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Now there's an idea. Eating on the docks. I've never done anything like that.
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[ Jean makes the decision there that they will get it to go, and find a good spot. ]
We couldn't really do it back home, since the dock was our first point of contact with the outside - but when we traveled off the island, we got the chance to.
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You've never spoken of it much.
What was it like?
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[ he hesitates. ]
I feel there's a lot I don't know about your world. I know it was bad and painful . . . but I'd like to know more if I can.
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Even when it was bad and painful, it was our home. There was plenty of joy to be found where we made the space for it.
[ He takes a deep breath. ]
I grew up in Trost District - it was a town just inside Wall Rose. The Walls were the things keeping us safe from the Titans, and Rose was the second wall. The outermost wall was Maria - that's where Eren, Mikasa and their best friend Armin grew up, in Shiganshina District. It's also where most of the farmland is kept. The innermost wall was Sina, where the King and Military Police were.
The districts are where they let a large group of people gather and live, because Titans are attracted to such places. If a breach is going to happen, it'll happen there, and they have cannons and the Garrison - soldiers whose job it is to maintain and protect those walls. If you're not lucky enough to be Military Police, and not suicidal enough to join the Survey Corps, that's where you'll end up.
[ Jean's quiet a moment, squeezes Dolph's hand. ]
When I was nine, two abnormal titans broke through wall Maria into Shiganshina. Overnight, we lost the entire outer zone, and all the farmland and towns within it. Everyone rushed inside Rose, and there wasn't enough food to go around. Two hundred and fifty thousand people, many of them elderly or jobless, were recruited to 'retake' wall Maria alongside the Survey Corps.
It was a suicide run to make sure there was enough food to go around. Most of them never returned, and the Survey Corps were in disgrace because of it.
I wasn't cognizant of much of it. I lived with my mother, and she kept me sheltered from the worst information. I didn't understand where all these people had come from, or why I couldn't get my favorite food anymore. I was a huge asshole about it to everyone.
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You didn't know. We're all a little guilty of that. Even me.
[ he had been raised on eden's propaganda even while they were abusing him. what else did he have? nothing but lucy's voice telling him how this is for the good of all. that he's a hero. ]
And everyone deserves to be young, while they can.
[ it's a luxury he never had. ]
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We do. We didn't get the chance - either of us. Eren and I joined military training when we were twelve, but he'd lost his mother three years prior when the Titans breached the walls - had been one of the refugees I so despised.
[ He pauses the story to order what they'd like to eat, and to ask for it to be wrapped to go. The woman actually gives them a spot that's supposed to be somewhat private, 'not too touristy' and Jean thanks her with a smile. ]
I didn't really like him, but I was jealous of him, too. For having Mikasa's heart, at first, and then for how determined he was. He had a way of sweeping people up with him.
[ He looks a little wistful. ]
Training was hard, and sometimes they really would try to kill you to test your reaction time. But at the same time... it was almost like having a big family, complete with siblings I squabbled with. And Marco was always there to smooth things over when my big mouth got the best of me.
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he ducks his head a little. ]
Shared experiences make all the difference.
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[ Jean squeezes Dolph's hand again. ]
... My mother grew roses, or tried to with what little garden space she had. That's why I think it'd be nice to have some in the garden.
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[ a brief, rattled sigh. ]
I just wish I had a better idea of stuff. I always wanted to have the space for it and now that I do, it's just taking longer than I thought I would.
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[ He raises Dolph's hand to press a kiss to it. ]
I know we talk about taking the chance when we have - but this is new for you. It's scary to think about putting down roots when they might be ripped away.
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I think it's . . . the idea of roots that surprises me. I never had roots in anything.
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Do you... want to explore what roots you might have had? Anything you can remember from before, maybe.
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I recall very little. My father was supposedly an immigrant thief from India. My mother was a sex worker. Sometimes I think there were smells I associate with my father but I don't remember his face. Any of their faces.
I mostly lived on the streets before Eden. Sleeping in gutters, digging through trash.
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I haven't tried making any Indian recipes I've found. I've mostly stuck to things similar to what I know, and what Maruki's taught me, outside of pastries.
On the off chance I fuck it up... would you want me to try making something?
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As I said, I don't remember anything really. You're welcome to try.
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Anything is possible.
And you're right. It'd be nice.
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We'll make the space for your roots. It'll be okay if you don't know what to plant for a while.
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What about yours? Not just roses. Is there anything else?
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The sunflowers, that you mentioned before.
[ Softer: ]
They were Marco's favorite.
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I don't see why we can't have a garden that can hold all that we love.
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That sounds sweet, when you put it that way.
[ The moment is tactfully interrupted by a small cough; the draconian woman has their orders in a paper bag, and she hands it to both of them. Jean pays with the cords he's earned, and she reminds him of the spot she recommended.
Jean is quick to take Dolph's hand in his as they head towards the boardwalk. ]
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wrap? i kind of thought they'd explore more but they got derailed
yeah sounds good <3 they'll have more opportunities