[ It's a good question, and for a minute Vash is quiet, silently chewing on his lower lip as he tries to pick apart the conversation he'd had with Nai about it. Sometimes, its hard to tell when his own decisions start and his brother's end. ]
He asked.
[ Begged, really. Prodded, poked. Vash is sure their conversation would have gone much more poorly had he not eventually agreed. ]
You hate that power. You hate everything about it.
[ which is its own can of worms. dolph wished back his power mostly because he felt it should rest with him. his burden, his mark. either way, what's done is done.
but he remembers vash shaking from the very memory of using the gate. he has not forgotten. ]
[ Dolph isn't wrong. Vash isn't drawn to his own gate, or the powers that make him more alien and other. But Vash can't deny that his brother wasn't wrong either -- he's not as capable of defending himself without that part of himself. ]
I promised. He wanted me to wish them back for self defense. When I got turned into one of those monsters, it bothered him. He's been worse about it since then.
You can be strong without the gate. You know that too. And what happens here doesn't prove you're weak or strong. It affects everyone the same.
[ and vash knows that too. there's no argument to be had here. his mind is made up and he's telling dolph. vash can make his own decisions. he should. but this one . . . doesn't feel like that.
he has to let it go. it's ironic that knives resents him so. knives was always the person who won. dolph just shakes his head. ]
[ Vash has always been good at reading people. Dolph's not an exception, and it's not hard to tell that he's at least frustrated by this decision. Vash frowns, reaching out to catch Dolph's fingers with his own. ]
I know I'm not weak. But maybe it's time I face what I am instead of running away from it. I've never fit in with humans or been an example of what a Plant is supposed to be... But I want to think I fit in here.
[ There's a pause and he offers Dolph a pathetic sort of expression. ]
I want to be able to protect you and everyone else.
that's not how vash has ever saved dolph. that's not how he gave him hope.
but he understands too. you have to reclaim those parts to move forward. he just doesn't like that it was knives who put it there. knives, who has ulterior motives. always.
[ Oh that does it. Vash deflates, shifting to wrap both of his arms around Dolph's middle as he pulls him in for a tight hug. It's comforting in a way that Vash has been scared to get used to. But he has it, and even if he's making a mistake, Dolph isn't going to push him away. ]
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He asked.
[ Begged, really. Prodded, poked. Vash is sure their conversation would have gone much more poorly had he not eventually agreed. ]
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You hate that power. You hate everything about it.
[ which is its own can of worms. dolph wished back his power mostly because he felt it should rest with him. his burden, his mark. either way, what's done is done.
but he remembers vash shaking from the very memory of using the gate. he has not forgotten. ]
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I promised. He wanted me to wish them back for self defense. When I got turned into one of those monsters, it bothered him. He's been worse about it since then.
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[ and vash knows that too. there's no argument to be had here. his mind is made up and he's telling dolph. vash can make his own decisions. he should. but this one . . . doesn't feel like that.
he has to let it go. it's ironic that knives resents him so. knives was always the person who won. dolph just shakes his head. ]
As long as it's your choice.
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I know I'm not weak. But maybe it's time I face what I am instead of running away from it. I've never fit in with humans or been an example of what a Plant is supposed to be... But I want to think I fit in here.
[ There's a pause and he offers Dolph a pathetic sort of expression. ]
I want to be able to protect you and everyone else.
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that's not how vash has ever saved dolph. that's not how he gave him hope.
but he understands too. you have to reclaim those parts to move forward. he just doesn't like that it was knives who put it there. knives, who has ulterior motives. always.
dolph squeezes his fingers quietly. ]
As long as you're sure.
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I don't know if it's the right choice, but I decided to make it.
[ He exhales a breath, using his free hand to brush through his own hair in an effort to self soothe a little. ]
If it's a mistake, I'll deal with that if it happens. But I wanted to at least let you know. I figured you'd kick my butt if it needed to be kicked.
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Whatever you get into, I'll get you out.
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I know I can count on you.
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[ dolph holds him close. ]
Whatever you do, I'm with you. I love you.
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I love you too. Thanks, for understanding me.
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We'll figure it out as we go.