[Eren's quiet. Some wave of emotion rushes up along with the tide - guilt, resentment, despair. What would Dolph be wishing him luck toward? Nothing that nurtures his own interests. Eren sinks back down into his knees, arms tight around them. He merely shakes his head.]
[Eren's eyes shift to Dolph's hand. He only ever looks like he's glaring these days - pained, built up from nothing more than hate; then, all at once, the beast fades away into nothing more than a hollow shell. He's either vicious or he's empty. There's no room left for anything else anymore.
[Has Dolph ever extended his hand?
[Why now? He feels young, unsteady.
[Deep down, he always wanted Dolph to like him.
[He takes his hand. He takes his hand like he doesn't know how. It's awkward. He hooks their fingers at the knuckles and stares, lips in a tight line.
[His eyes go up to Dolph's.
[Back to the sea. He straightens up where he sits and lets their hands rest in the sand. How strange...]
[ dolph hadn't extended his hand easily back then. he had his own shit to sort out, struggling to make sense of all this added time in a life cut short, with a life that held little meaning for himself. his attempts at help were clumsy. well-meant but clumsy, blunt and cut off in the edges.
now he is different. he hesitates to say better. he still feels lacking, but dolph has looked inward these days instead of outward. tried to see where he could do better instead of railing against the world that should have done better for him. for everyone.
so dolph isn't going to stitch things together. this time together isn't about fixing or mending or piecing it all. recovering a dynamic long past. and perhaps that's where it should be. their hands meet at the midpoint and it's enough that it's a they.
they're here. for when it matters. and when it doesn't. ]
[Eren spent a lot of time, a lot of effort, trying to look as though he feels nothing. He does look that way. And he is empty. But he still feels it all. Emotions fill his lungs like saltwater, suffocating. Stuffing them down completely is the only way to contain them at all, but he thinks one day, it all might come out...
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Should I wish you luck?
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instead he extends his hand if eren wants to take it. he doesn't say anything else. ]
lmk if u need more
[Has Dolph ever extended his hand?
[Why now? He feels young, unsteady.
[Deep down, he always wanted Dolph to like him.
[He takes his hand. He takes his hand like he doesn't know how. It's awkward. He hooks their fingers at the knuckles and stares, lips in a tight line.
[His eyes go up to Dolph's.
[Back to the sea. He straightens up where he sits and lets their hands rest in the sand. How strange...]
all good <3 wrap here?
now he is different. he hesitates to say better. he still feels lacking, but dolph has looked inward these days instead of outward. tried to see where he could do better instead of railing against the world that should have done better for him. for everyone.
so dolph isn't going to stitch things together. this time together isn't about fixing or mending or piecing it all. recovering a dynamic long past. and perhaps that's where it should be. their hands meet at the midpoint and it's enough that it's a they.
they're here. for when it matters. and when it doesn't. ]
just ooooone more
[He's been holding his breath. He lets it go.]
Dolph. I'm glad I got to see you again.
wrap on my HEART
if he managed to see bullfrog one last time, he imagines it would feel like this.
"I'm sorry. I have failed you." ]
Me too.