A feeling I understand all too well. I have a couple other friends with similar issues who I've been working on finding hobbies with - actually, Kuro works for you, doesn't he?
He's one of my closest friends here. I think you'd like him. He also is completely unfamiliar with the concept of free time, so we've been trying to work on that by trying new things together. I guess it's a more common issue than one might realize, huh?
Also... can I ask what you encountered in the labyrinth?
I ask because another friend of mine entered the labyrinth only to wind up in... some sort of facsimile of a house she lived in, back in her reality.
I'm interested in the ways that the labyrinth manipulates us by showing us people or places from our pasts. I think there's a connection there to the larger manipulations done to Somnius as a whole, so I've been trying to learn more where I can.
[ that tracks for the labyrinth. the last time he went in, it was just a greenhouse. they gave back alex's hairtie which he tucks away safely in his house. he hasn't told anyone about it. ]
Well, horrific and me tend to go together. It's fine. I'm used to being fucked with.
But that doesn't surprise me. This place knows everything after all. Reads us like a book.
It does, doesn't it? I've been trying to impress that upon several people lately. It isn't just about the wishes that we make - seemingly any information, even what hasn't been shared publicly or privately, can be used against us here.
When people know everything about you, the only thing they can think about is how to use it against you. To make you doubt yourself or to make you angry. Because reactions give you away.
The slurs, the videos, the reactions, the world is just waiting for you to slip. The denial just makes them stronger.
[ the hawk. the terrorist. the closeted little queer who hide from the world and everyone around him. the machine. the hero who bit the hand that fed him. drug addict. violent. ]
And this place is a stone's throw away from a reality show.
We're coming at this from two very different angles - two very different life experiences, too - but everything you've said is completely true.
I don't think I've told you that my field of study back in my reality dealt with perception. How we perceive the world around us, and how those perceptions influence reality in turn.
Propaganda and the fickleness of media and celebrity are inextricably a part of that. So is a reality where our thoughts, dreams, fears and wishes are constantly exploited to manipulate observable changes around us.
It all ties together. And denial and complacency really are the death knells.
[ death knells. dolph's denial of alex, his denial of sarah. he's not sure which is worse. alex took time. controlling, pushing, telling him. and dolph was so headlong in love he didn't care.
but sarah. sarah had that whole sob story. sarah whom dolph felt bad about because he still had a heart. dolph who told holloway that maybe she deserved a second chance. while she was knowingly killing him with a trojan horse in his system.
he was just made to be exploited. eden had ruined him to the core. ]
[ In truth, he wouldn't have bothered trying to pursue a friendship with Dolph if that weren't the case. Maruki keeps any circle closer to him than patients-and-acquaintances incredibly, tightly selective. It's a gauntlet to pass that no one ever knows they're running. That's not a good thing, necessarily, but it's the only way he knows how to be. ]
[ Vastly different circumstances, and yet– that's not unlike Akechi, and not unlike himself. It often isn't about choice, but about perseverance. And that's why their resolve is strong enough to be wielded the way that it can be.
What would Dolph's rebellion manifest as, he wonders. ]
Whether resolve is born from necessity or choice, it's a trait I find admirable. Take the compliment.
[ did somebody say à̶͎̻̌̀c̸̡͇̞͔̰̙̲̓̑̽̆͂͑̕͝͠͝ẗ̵̝͔̯͉̇̈́́̈́̈́̅̈́͊͝͝ư̴͙̥͔̗͙͉̩̻̠̫̬͈͛̾͌̉̈́̄̉͘ͅä̵̡̛͎̞́̋͋̇̀̅̅̔͘͜͝l̷̜̦̝̺̞͖͓̩̝̤͖̯͖̲̻̘̾͆̌̀̃́̈́̕͝ĭ̵͚͕͂̑͐̓̎̌z̸̨̺̰͍̤̩̳̟͎̦͉͚̰̈́̈́͊̏ą̴̛͕̥̟̰͉̻̙͍̌͑̒̍̉͆̐̿̃̆͂͂͑̈́͑͘t̷̨̢̲̼̱͚̤͕̪̫̟̗͇̂͋̌̑́̄̆̽̈͆̎̚̚͜͜i̴̛̭̺̾͒̿́̍̈̿̚͠ỏ̶̥̹͈͕̖̼͔̠̚͝n̶̡̲̟̹̤̯͖̪̦̜̐́̃̿̌́͒̐̕ ]
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Also... can I ask what you encountered in the labyrinth?
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Ghosts. Lots of them. None of my abilities worked, obviously, so they caught up to me.
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Ghosts, huh... Were any, ah, recognizable to you?
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I've killed too many people to know that.
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I'm interested in the ways that the labyrinth manipulates us by showing us people or places from our pasts. I think there's a connection there to the larger manipulations done to Somnius as a whole, so I've been trying to learn more where I can.
I'm sorry, though. That sounds horrific...
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Well, horrific and me tend to go together. It's fine. I'm used to being fucked with.
But that doesn't surprise me. This place knows everything after all. Reads us like a book.
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Others will struggle. The denial makes this place stronger.
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Do you mean that literally? About the denial.
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The more you suppress, the more you deny, the easier this place digs at you.
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You're right. I agree.
However, this isn't something I hear people mention often. Or ever. How did you come up with it?
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It worked.
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And how do the two relate for you?
For the record, I really do think you're right. I just want to hear it in your words.
cw: derogatory language, mentioned homophobia
When people know everything about you, the only thing they can think about is how to use it against you. To make you doubt yourself or to make you angry. Because reactions give you away.
The slurs, the videos, the reactions, the world is just waiting for you to slip. The denial just makes them stronger.
[ the hawk. the terrorist. the closeted little queer who hide from the world and everyone around him. the machine. the hero who bit the hand that fed him. drug addict. violent. ]
And this place is a stone's throw away from a reality show.
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I don't think I've told you that my field of study back in my reality dealt with perception. How we perceive the world around us, and how those perceptions influence reality in turn.
Propaganda and the fickleness of media and celebrity are inextricably a part of that. So is a reality where our thoughts, dreams, fears and wishes are constantly exploited to manipulate observable changes around us.
It all ties together. And denial and complacency really are the death knells.
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but sarah. sarah had that whole sob story. sarah whom dolph felt bad about because he still had a heart. dolph who told holloway that maybe she deserved a second chance. while she was knowingly killing him with a trojan horse in his system.
he was just made to be exploited. eden had ruined him to the core. ]
Guess that says a lot about me
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Really?
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Yes. Is that surprising?
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I just had to keep going. I had to make myself do that. Over and over.
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What would Dolph's rebellion manifest as, he wonders. ]
Whether resolve is born from necessity or choice, it's a trait I find admirable. Take the compliment.
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once he actualizes himself . . . who knows. ]
. . . Thanks.
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Any time, my friend.