[ dolph shakes his head slowly. jealousy isn't really an emotion he's familiar with and certainly not one he's feeling right now. he's never had enough relationships to care about that. ]
I'm not mad. And if he did, I wouldn't be mad either.
Dolph, I lo-like you so much. You're my boyfriend. Why would I want you away from me? When Cloud told me you two met I was so happy and even happier that Cloud had said you treated him with kindness. I know you were a great guy but it was nice to hear another say it too.
Dolph I'm so happy you two met. I would have introduced you both anyway. I'm just annoyed I didn't get to. [He fake pouts at that but it only lasts a moment before hes laughing again.]
[ he sighs. zack doesn't lie. dolph doubts he has the capacity to. but he wonders about his feelings and well, it's a person from his world. his past. ]
I am. I...well...Dolph I care about you a lot. Like more then a lot even I just...I don't want to scare you away. You're really important to me.
[Hes kind of glad that Dolph is on the inside of the booth right now.]
Cloud sorta told me what you two did. He wouldn't say it but I kinda figured. I'm not mad at it so you know. I think it's great and I know Cloud is in good hands with you.
Then I'll talk to you about it. He wouldn't be just getting me anymore, he'd get both of us. I want us to be a package deal in that case. Honestly I'd like your okay for anyone else I would date.
[Zack fiddles a little with his bacon, unsure.]
Is that weird? I don't want secrets between us. If you wanted to date someone else on top of dating me I wouldn't mind either, as long as they were good to you.
[He needs to support Dolph in this of course but he knows Alex is tough for him. Originally he had wanted them back together and Dolph was making such good progress with himself, would Alex somehow mess it up? He hoped that wasn't the case.
He sits back and crosses his arms over his chest in thought.]
[ dolph fiddles with his plate, not looking up. he feels ashamed. ashamed that he still cares about alex, the man who shot him. who told pagan min that dolph was a pathetic queer. who tried to sweet talk him after inciting a riot. ]
[Zack watches the pancake be stabbed and just holds his hand a bit tighter.]
I'm not judging, I cared about someone a lot who did something similar to me...I looked up to him so I get it. I think if he was here I might even forgive him if he asked for it, as long as he explained why this all happened.
You're worried he might do something to hurt you again, right?
[His own words are a bit softer, hopeful a bit as he leans in and kisses Dolph's cheek.]
Then don't trust him as easily. You can still give him room to be in your life but not let him in all at once if you need time. If he doesn't like that then you have your answer and he hasn't changed. I can even come with you if you need support.
I'd never think that Dolph! [His voice does raise at that but not in anger at Dolph more to prove his point.] You take those thoughts back right now Mister! I care so much about you! This is your trauma and I'm sure if the man who gave me mine was here I'd be reacting the same way. You aren't and will never be pathetic to me.
[That flustered face is too cute and Zack can't help but just grab his face and kiss him, hoping to kiss all the worries away. Maybe even show some of his deeper feelings as well in the kiss. When he does pull away he can't help and stop the words that leave his lips.]
I want to be there for you Dolph, whenever you're in pain. I love you.
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I'm not mad. And if he did, I wouldn't be mad either.
I just . . . don't want to get in the way.
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[Zack doesnt get what Dolph means]
Dolph, I lo-like you so much. You're my boyfriend. Why would I want you away from me? When Cloud told me you two met I was so happy and even happier that Cloud had said you treated him with kindness. I know you were a great guy but it was nice to hear another say it too.
Dolph I'm so happy you two met. I would have introduced you both anyway. I'm just annoyed I didn't get to. [He fake pouts at that but it only lasts a moment before hes laughing again.]
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All right. As long as you're sure.
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[Hes kind of glad that Dolph is on the inside of the booth right now.]
Cloud sorta told me what you two did. He wouldn't say it but I kinda figured. I'm not mad at it so you know. I think it's great and I know Cloud is in good hands with you.
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And if he wants more from you? What then?
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[Zack fiddles a little with his bacon, unsure.]
Is that weird? I don't want secrets between us. If you wanted to date someone else on top of dating me I wouldn't mind either, as long as they were good to you.
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No. It's not weird. It's how I saw it too.
[ he wasn't trying to give zack up. just . . . considering an out if zack needed one. he didn't want to get in the way of love. ]
I've . . . talked to Alex.
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He sits back and crosses his arms over his chest in thought.]
Did it go okay? Did he behave?
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[ he sighs. ]
I don't know. It's still messy. I can't trust him. But he's — [ well. alex was the love of his life. the only love he's ever known. ]
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[He hates seeing Dolph like this, he just wants the man happy.]
Do you want to tell me what you two talked about?
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He wants me back.
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[Zack fiddles more with his bacon, unsure of what to say to that.]
I think....if you want to I won't stop you but...does that mean I won't see you anymore?
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I didn't say I wanted to.
I can't trust Alex. He knows me too well. He can . . . get in my head.
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Do you want anything from me? Do you need a hug after that? Or more of the kiss tax??
[He leans closer, eyes showing how eager he is to make Dolph feel better.]
Do you want me there next time you talk to him? Maybe I can help?
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Just in case.
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[He eats his bacon and then takes Dolph's hand in his own.]
We're boyfriends and that means I'm your partner for as long as you'll have me. So tell me whatever you need to. I'll always listen.
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[ holding hands for this feels odd. dolph stabs his pancake, not quite making eye contact. ]
We didn't break up traditionally. He shot me. And sold me out. That person put a bomb in my head to make me do their dirty work.
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[Zack watches the pancake be stabbed and just holds his hand a bit tighter.]
I'm not judging, I cared about someone a lot who did something similar to me...I looked up to him so I get it. I think if he was here I might even forgive him if he asked for it, as long as he explained why this all happened.
You're worried he might do something to hurt you again, right?
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[ dolph grimaces at that. ]
I'm worried I'll lose my head. He lied to me. Manipulated me. Used me.
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[His own words are a bit softer, hopeful a bit as he leans in and kisses Dolph's cheek.]
Then don't trust him as easily. You can still give him room to be in your life but not let him in all at once if you need time. If he doesn't like that then you have your answer and he hasn't changed. I can even come with you if you need support.
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You must think I'm rather pathetic. Even now, I'm — [ just a fucking mess. ]
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. . . Thanks.
[ he's even a bit flustered. ]
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I want to be there for you Dolph, whenever you're in pain. I love you.
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— What?
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cw: panic attack
Re: cw: panic attack
cw: panic attack
Re: cw: panic attack
cw: panic attack
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